Defeated

My kids really know how to kick me when im down...  I just spent 45 dollars on ingredients to make Treycen Pumpkin Muffins and they did not turn out at all...  I was feeling so defeated and sad, I was really wanting to give Treycen something sweet that would totally make him smile...  I can not see my living room from my kitchen, I heard the boys talking and playing so I assumed they were fine and just playing with their toys...  I finally give up on my pumpkin muffins and I am already teary eyed and I walk into my living room to find this:

 It is the stuffing from my couch cushions!

I just sat on my floor next to the mess and cried for about 20 minutes...  It took every fiber in me to not freak out and kick their little butts...  Instead I sent them to their rooms for 10 minutes and then made them clean up every piece of cotton...  Bad day for me....  Its days like today that I ask myself why I ever wanted to be a mom seriously what was I thinking?

And this is how my pumpkin batter looked?  I am NO high end baker but I do bake enough to know that it should NOT look like this!  Maybe tomorrow I will attempt to try it again...

As for now I am curling up on my couch and reading "Insurgent" which totally reminds me of this:

A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found …an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel… She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’ She again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?…
 ”Yes,” was his incredulous reply..
 She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”